I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
