I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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