Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
