if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
