don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
