I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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