I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
this boner is exhausting
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
