Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
