Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
