if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
