I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
