when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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