How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
