Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
