Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
