I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
