I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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