Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
