Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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