Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
