I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
