My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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