she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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