Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
