a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Semen is not good for contacts.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize