Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
