so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
