Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
