Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
