I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
