I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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