then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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