Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
