and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
