i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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