Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
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