there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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