your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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