So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
