I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
