What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so that wasnt chicken after all
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize