I wish I could punch you in the face.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
