If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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