She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
