I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
