I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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