i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
