Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
