I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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