Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
