Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
