At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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