So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
