Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I would fuck him just for his dog
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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