i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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