their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
