I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize