if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
