I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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