You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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