Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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