that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
